Habits are a beautiful and elusive beast.
We always feel that when we adopt a new habit it is going to change our lives. It definitely will.
The problem is, the change will happen incrementally and we will see the change after months and perhaps years have passed.
Many of us give up before then.
We build up these habits (or so we think) over the course of perhaps a few weeks and eventually give up when we don’t see the results.
We want to lose 20 pounds by going to the gym. We do this for a month, don’t see drastic results and eventually stop going.
We want to go viral in our writing or making videos on YouTube. We make perhaps 10 videos over a month and don’t see our views skyrocketing, our motivation fades and so does our output.
We want to make a habit of waking up early in the morning. We do so for a few weeks and it feels good. We don’t have our morning structured to an optimal routine so we revert right back to sleeping in.
It happens time and time again.
Below I have a list of habits that when adopted and practiced will have a profound impact on positively improving the quality of your life, the impact of your intentions and the expansion and achievement of your goals.
It is imperative with these habits that you stick to them with the faith of knowing that overtime you will be able to look back and see the transformative change in your life.
Make a habit of asking for help.
The Ego is a tricky facet of every human life.
We think we can figure things out on their own. The truth is we cannot.
When I was a kid, I asked my father for help on some homework. I remember clear as day him saying “no” to me. For the rest of my life, I lived with the mindset that I needed to figure things out on my own. I couldn’t rely on anyone but myself. The one beacon of guidance shut me down- where was I to go now.
For years I lived with this mindset. With school I didn’t ask for help, with relationships I didn’t ask for help, with my career I didn’t ask for help.
I went on blind to the fact that I wasn’t moving far enough forward. My ego had full control.
Keeping all the pain inside led me to strain relationships with my friends. Finally, I was confronted with the truth and I am asking for help and it has been making profound changes in my life.
I haven’t dated in years, resenting all women because many of them hurt me. Since asking for help that has changed.
I am making leaps and bounds with my entrepreneurial endeavors. I always thought I needed to solve every problem- since asking for help I have streamlined many processes.
My health was in ruin. I was drinking in excess and smoking cigarettes. By taking on a trainer who has become a friend and mentor, I am in the best physical and mental shape of my life.
Ask for help and watch the doors open.
Make introducing yourself a habit.
I’ve dealt with extreme self-esteem issues.
I’ve carried myself to reflect a positive attitude on the outside and at the same time held back to offering myself to others.
I was afraid of rejection.
I was afraid of being vulnerable.
I was afraid of taking on new opportunities.
I was afraid of success.
I have since made the habit of introducing myself to anyone I can.
I don’t jive with a lot of people I introduce myself to. Okay, fine. There are scores of people that I get along with and I’m always surprised where it has taken me.
It has brought me free coffee.
It has brought me new friends.
It has brought me new knowledge.
It has brought me new lovers.
Make a habit of introducing yourself to others and see the world through the eyes of others.
Make a habit of saying “no” to people.
I used to care immensely what people thought of me. While I still do have times where I cherish how people view me, it doesn’t dictate my decision making as much as it once did.
I used to say yes to every request that was asked of me.
I used to agree with every comment so I didn’t create confrontation.
I used to blend in with the crowd so I didn’t shine too much light on myself.
It did nothing but cause me to run out of gas.
I was being dictated by the whims of others rather than listening to the voice inside my own head.
It caused me to sacrifice my own goals, dreams and desires for the wants of others.
I lost myself.
Since making a habit of saying “no” more often to needless requests I have grown my confidence tenfold. I understand how valuable my time is. I understand that I am not going to be able to please everyone.
It has built a found respect within myself and I can see with other people. Other people know I’m not kidding around and that I am living my life with intent.
Making a habit of telling people “no” isn’t a form of being a jerk- it’s letting the world know who you are and what is important to you.
Make a habit of sticking to your word.
Promises seem to be a thing of the past.
We say we are going to do something only to go back on said promise in lieu of something else.
We are able to send a “sorry” text and tell someone we cannot make the commitment when something else has come up.
I used to be extremely guilty of this.
I would tell people I would be somewhere only to flake when something else came up.
I was called out hard by a true friend when I broke my promise to him.
I felt unbelievably small and insignificant.
I told him one thing and did another. I broke my trust with him and became an unreliable person.
I have since made the conscious change of not breaking my promises with almost uncompromising capacity (of course spontaneous things come up that cause for a cancelled commitment).
I want the world to know that I am accountable and you should as well. When someone calls on you- you’re there for them.
This has helped with the above habit of saying “no.” I am not over committing. When I cannot uphold a promise, I let the world know. Respect is grown with that because when it comes time for me to deliver for that person, they can bet I will.
Make a habit of sticking to your word. The world will offer their respect in doing so.
Make a habit of feeling good.
This idea seems convoluted, it’s not.
How does one feel good?
Well there are multiple tools that can be used in order to achieve this.
One must feed their body the proper fuel. Remember the last time you binged on McDonald’s? You probably felt sick. In order to feel good your need to develop the habit of healthy eating.
One must dress the part. If you’re unkept with both your hygiene and clothing, it will leak into your confidence. It’s a cliche saying, however it’s true: when you look good, you feel good. When you are wearing haggard clothing, you feel it and so does the world.
One must stay social. When you are with positive people it flows into your mood. Of course I know the struggle of not wanting to go out and stay recluse. Think about it though, when was the last time you forced yourself to go out and fraternize and didn’t feel good about it afterwards?
Feeling good is contagious. People are attracted to people that shine their light. You can feel it when a confident person enters a room. You want to keep looking at them.
Maybe it’s smile. Maybe it’s their laugh. Maybe it’s the clothes their wearing.
Whatever it is, you don’t want to look away.
Make a habit of feeling good and be that person that everyone doesn’t want to take their eyes off.