Am I a Fucking Slussy?
Like many of you, I have followed the traditional path of: School>College>Career. During my 27 years, I have been told countless times that I must get a good job to live a happy and comfortable life. In order to get good job, I have to graduate from college. And, obviously, to go to college, I have to do well in school. Now I have the degree and the career and the salary and the house and the cars I find myself wondering, how the fuck did I get here and why would anyone tell me to do this?
It’s so hard not to sound like an ungrateful piece of shit when you complain about a life that’s a dream to so many. I recognize that I am unbelievably fortunate to have my job as a Financial Representative in an affluent community. I know that the house that I own is a blessing and I am unbelievably privileged in countless ways. Yet here I am, staring down a lifetime of what I am certain will be passionless “work”.
I took this job for one reason and one reason only: flexibility. I started in our company’s billing department which meant I regular interaction with folks working the same gig that I now have. Seemed like every single one of them was out golfing, vacationing, and wildly overpaid for the job they were doing. Obviously, I quickly realized that’s where I wanted to be. The money was a nice incentive to change careers and that’s what I told everyone who asked about me leaving (because it’s socially acceptable to leave a good job for one that pays more). But the truth was, I never gave a shit about the money. I still don’t. I wanted this job because I knew there was potential to work LESS.
THIS IS WHY I FEEL LIKE A SLUG
What kind of asshole is motivated to work hard NOW so that he can soon NOT work hard at all? Most people apply that philosophy to their retirement, and (as a guy who deals in the financial realm) I think that’s smart. But not me, bitches! I am out here busting my ass hard so I can very quickly transition to career autopilot where I can then HOPEFULLY find something to care about. That, to me, is a result of being roped into a job that you don’t give a shit about. The only thing that I found that I really enjoy is spending time with people that are important to me (wife, kids, a few friends). Not something that can be easily monetized!
I’m stuck in this dumbshit hamster wheel where I reluctantly attend my job, work hard, but still count down the minutes until I can leave. I’m not even sure what my end game is here. Am I a slug AND a pussy?! A slussy!??!
Either way, on behalf of my personal sanity, thank you for existing, internet strangers. Having the ability to write this shit out while I figure what I’m doing on this big blue ball is what keeps the wheels on the operation.