Eating the Cake Too

I've struggled with thoughts of narcissism. Even with creating this website and writing about the thoughts that are in my head, I must have some feeling of being special. I fight thinking this often. I tell myself that I'm not special and that I'm a mere human just like everyone else. I don't have anything that makes me "more" than the person next to me.


This is combatted with the feeling of creativity that lies within us all. I have these feelings that I need to write and share these thoughts and questions with my fellow man so we can tackle the struggle of being human together. Even now I write and I consciously know I don't want to pull the attention inward and produce a sob story. I rather intend to write to touch and reflect on feelings we all think about and question. 


We live in a world where familiarity and intimacy with close friends is encouraged, and rightfully so. We also live in a world where convenience and technology allow for a comfort of life that is provided by the specialization and production of millions of strangers we will never meet. We need to find balance in these two worlds we live in. 


I have these thoughts that I am going to be a successful writer, teacher, thinker and producer of prosperity in peoples' lives. When this certain level of influence and success is met, will I be fulfilled then? Being human I think not. I will want more then. How much more? One could argue we have all we need if we came from a family that loves us and close friends that inspire us.


Of course in life right now, it appears that the latter isn't enough.